I fooled everyone into thinking I was happy and successful...

And how being heart-led has changed my life 💌

Can I be honest with you?

I haven’t been 100% transparent about my story on Substack before… Today, I’m exposing myself by telling you how I managed to hustle and fool everyone into thinking I made it at age 20.

It all started back in 2020 when Covid was doing its thing, sending us all into a panic about our jobs and where our next paycheque would come from due to non-essential stuff shutting down.

I was eighteen at the time—working three jobs at Real Canadian Superstore, teaching dance at the studio I grew up in and had a side hustle doing lashes in my mom’s basement.

Then all of a sudden, I couldn’t do any of those things. My mom forbade me from working because she was scared to death of catching Covid, so I was left wondering how the hell I was going to pay my car insurance with no money coming in.

And that’s when I found it—my golden ticket to success.

This girl I followed on Instagram (mind you I have NO IDEA where she is now…) was posting about this business and these beauty products that changed her life.

I’m sure you know where this is going…

Looking to make an extra buck or two, I signed up to be a sales consultant with the MLM company Monat. I saw it as an opportunity to make money and maybe get ahead of the game while everyone was chilling at home doing the square root of FA.

I was immediately met with backlash from friends, people from my high school and even one of my dance teachers gave me a lecture on how MLMs were “evil”.

Suddenly, I became the villain in so many people’s eyes that I didn’t know what to think and at the same time, I was bluntly notified of being exiled from my high school girl group due to some stupid boy drama that I had nothing to do with.

Rejected not once, but multiple times by multiple different people.

Not to mention I’d literally get replies like this on my stories…

Internally, I started to question whether there was something wrong with me—whether I just made the absolute worst mistake of my freaking life and if I should tell my upline that I’d changed my mind.

I was scared I’d ruined my reputation in a nano-second. I had people tell me that I was the topic of conversation in multiple Snapchat group chats that I wasn’t in which gave me the worst anxiety of my life. I was terrified of what other people thought of me.

But my Capricorn Mars and South Node took over my entire being and said,

“Not today bitch, you were born for success and you’re gonna grab it by the balls and prove them all wrong.”

So I did what I said I was going to do,

And it was working.

I was seeing success quickly; I was actually getting paid and promoted, and my mentors were so proud of me.

But internally, I hated myself.

I was selling my audience and mentoring the crap out of my team, but there was this little voice in the back of my head telling me that I was being fake—that the person talking on her IG stories was a phoney.

Not to mention, the harder I worked, the less I made time for my relationships until suddenly, life became all about my business.

I lost friendships, I lost my values and I lost myself.

But I looked like I had it all together on the outside.

I earned a free trip to Vegas but was only 19 and couldn’t go out with my team so I chose to get paid out $1000 instead 😌

Are you a runner? Or a walker?

What I really craved was for my mentors to see how hard I was working. I wanted them to believe in me before I even believed in myself ffs.

We called the girls who were hustling and doing the most in their biz the “runners”—these were the girls who were posting, DMing and doing the most,

Every. Single. Day.

I was a runner. My fuel was proving the people who rejected me wrong and my prize was the external validation I’d receive from my uplines cheering me on.

Sooner or later, I’d hit the promotions, I was making good money but something still didn’t feel right.

I didn’t feel like I was making an impact—I felt like I was running towards someone else’s version of success, not mine.

I remember getting promoted at the very last second on New Years’ Eve 2020 (a rank that would get me a $600 bonus) and thought,

What am I even doing this for? I don’t deserve this. My purpose cannot just be to sell shampoo for the rest of my life…

It felt icky that everything I did for my team was secretly for my own gain. I would help my girls advance so that I could advance—not because I genuinely wanted to see them succeed.

And that sucked. No matter what I did, I felt like a walking bad bitch imposter with no purpose.

Like who the fuck is this girl LOL

Heart-led > hustle

Now, I’m in no way saying that network marketing girlies can’t lead from the heart (they sure can and I’ve seen it with my own two eyes) all I’m saying is my heart was the last thing on my mind when I was running my business.

I morphed myself into someone I thought would be deemed worthy of success but lost my authenticity during the process.

Everyone said I seemed confident, but I was just harnessing the inner anger I felt and projecting it into my persona.

Around March of 2021, I quit my business as I felt an inner knowing that my journey had run its course. I learned all of the strategies I needed to know about sales, marketing and content creation and it was time to move on.

However, the strategies that once led me to success did not work in my next couple of endeavours…

This version of me literally KNEW there was something wrong…

In 2022, I was fired from a cannabis dispensary without cause (but I personally believe it was because I was butting heads with the CEO…)

In 2023, I burnt myself out of working for a gym as a coach because I never believed I worked hard enough to deserve rest.

In 2024, failed to go out on my own and start a personal training business because

1. a) I didn’t care about building community, as I’d felt betrayed by so many people I used to call my friends.

2. I didn’t set high enough prices to sustain myself because I didn’t believe I was good enough and qualified enough to make thousands a month.

3. And I was still slaving away copying other people’s strategies until my body could not physically take it anymore.

So, in August of last year, I invested $6,000 in my future, hired my mentor, and became determined to transform into the heart-led leader I know I am.

Here is what I’ve learned:

My principles for being a heart-led:

1. Wellbeing comes first, work comes second

2. Prioritize joy—keep it close to your heart

3. Flow with what feels good and leave the rest

4. Foster connections—life is better when you share it with others

5. My purpose is a service and selling is a sacred transfer of energy

6. Stand strong in your authenticity and worth—no one can do it like you do

7. Speak your message with conviction—it’s a mfing movement girl

8. I live, do and create from abundance as all I want is already mine

9. When I focus on making an impact, making money is inevitable

10. When I create from my gifts and share from my experience, I pave the way for other women to do the same

And since I’ve been following these values, I’ve begun to receive affirming messages like these:

If you’re looking for a similar transformation, I have something you’re going to absolutely love…

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I’m super excited to announce my FREE All Heart, No Hustle Challenge starting February 1st! 💌

This challenge is designed to help you reconnect with your authentic self, foster self-love, and start working on your business and living your life wholeheartedly.

It’s all about working with your energy, not against it—because success starts with you first.

There will be prompts three times per week (+ some human design) AND a game of bingo with prizes to be won!

So if you’re a coach, entrepreneur, content creator or network marketer and you’re ready to show yourself some love this Valentine’s szn, simply comment below or reply to this newsletter with “I’M IN” to join in!